How to Get People to Care About What You’re Saying - Part 1
When I was 22 years old I went to a Nissan car dealership to check out cars. I spoke with a salesman who asked me, “What do you want to achieve in life?” I replied something like, “I want to own real estate and be successful.”
The salesman asked me a few more questions. Then he skillfully began to get me emotionally involved in the purchase of the car. He probably said things like, “You’ll need a car to get you to work and to your real estate, won’t you?”
Me: “Yes.”
Salesman: “Isn’t a car important, even necessary, for your success?”
Me: “Yes.”
Salesman: “Do you really want to be successful?”
Me: “Yes!”
Salesman: “Then, wouldn’t you say that you have to get a car to reach your goals?”
Me: “Yes!”
Salesman: “You’re just starting out in life. So you need something affordable. This Nissan Sentra will fit the bill. It’s reliable. It’s safe. And it will get you to where you want to go. That’s what you want, isn’t it?”
Me: “Yes!”
Salesman: “Ok. Sign here. Drive the car home. If you like it, keep it. If you don’t, bring it back on Monday.”
At that point, I was so fired up to buy that car, I can’t even put it into words. But I still remember being super-psyched to get that car. I signed on the dotted line and drove the car home.
That salesman, through the skillful use of words, had gotten me to care about owning that vehicle. How had he done that? By tying the purchase of the car to something I wanted very badly, i.e. my own personal success.
This is one effective method of getting people to care about what you’re saying—link what you’re saying to something they care about. What do people care about? Primarily themselves. This might sound a bit cynical perhaps. But, it’s human nature and it’s true. Appeal to the interests of the person you’re talking with and you’ll have their attention. Put another way, if you craft your messages so that they help people get what they want, then they will care about what you’re saying and will listen to you.
To get the interest of others and to influence them, appeal to one or more of the interests listed by the psychologist, Abraham Maslow. Those interests are:
- Transcendence: help others realize their potential
- Self-Actualization: realize your own potential
- Aesthetic: symmetry, order, beauty, balance
- Learning: know, understand, mentally connect
- Esteem: achieve, be competent, gain approval, status, independence
- Belonging: love, family, friends, affection
- Security: protection, safety, stability
- Physical: hunger, thirst, bodily comfort
The car salesman appealed to my desire for self-actualization and probably esteem. And he hooked me by doing so.
Here are a few more examples of states or products we desire and which of Maslow’s interest categories they fit into.
- Cars — esteem
- Wealth — security, esteem
- Higher position at work — esteem, self-actualization
- Martial arts classes — security, esteem
- Slippers — physical
- Donations to worthy causes — transcendence
And the list goes on and on and on. For practice, look at or listen to any commercial and you can identify which of Maslow’s list of needs and desires is being appealed to.
You can appeal to and hook your listeners to what you’re saying as well. Tailor your speeches so that your core message helps your listeners reach one or more of their desires.
